2 Of The Most Common Reasons That Caused Your Breakup
September 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It would be a pretty cool thing to have a perfect relationship with someone that you really love, but sometimes the truth is it’s just not possible. These are 2 of the biggest reasons why most couples break up. If you are at a breaking up process, and you can solve these problems with your ex, there’s a good chance that you can get them back.
1) Too Much Arguing
Do you ever get this? So you’re sitting on the couch watching ESPN until your girlfriend yells, “Do you mind helping me with this?” You look over and you see your girlfriend pointing down at the dishes. You look back at the TV then you look back at her… It’s tied at the fourth quarter of a Monday night Patriots verse Chargers game with three minutes to go… You look over to her and signal “no” by shaking your head. When the game is over you smile to yourself. Your team has just won man! You jump up with glee only to discover the TV being turned off, followed a one to two hour about why you constantly choose to put your own fun instead of helping her out. This is an exaggerated small example, but the concept is still there. Stay with me.
You start off arguing over something simple like choirs, but it then grows into personal issues with one another. By this time, like a snowball rolling down the winter valleys of Ohio, your argument is unstoppable – you and your “love” are now in a full out, heated argument that’s not even about dishes anymore. It’s about winning .
It happens once, twice, and a lot more until you just can’t stand it anymore. Your arguments aren’t even about the issues, it’s about who’s on top. If you can’t put your ego aside, before you know it, you guys are either taking a break or broken up. Even though arguing can be a major cause to a break up, it’s not as severe as the next problem.
2) Trust Issues
Let me ask you another question – Does your boyfriend ever constantly tell you that he’s “going somewhere” without even telling you where or when he’s coming back and just leaves? Or perhaps he’s telling you that he’s going someplace that seems “awkward” like a concert with some friends when he’s not even into music.
Later his cell phone vibrates and you see a text message from someone named “Cindy.” Obviously, you’re not a nosy person so your not going to read his messages and go about your business… but later you find him to ignore you more and more and spending more time outside with “his friends” rather than spending the time where he should be spending the time – at home with you. A week or two later, you accidentally walk somewhere and around the corner, you see him kissing another women. You get a sudden shock in your body as if you wish that your eyes were fooling you, but they aren’t. When you go back home and talk to him about it… he denies it. Obviously, there are trust issues here that need to be resolved.
Author Bio: Tristan Lee is passionate about helping others get their ex’s back. If you’ve broken up, and you want to get your ex back in a state where you can solve these types of problems, visit http://www.expotions.com!
The Keys to a Successful Marriage
September 21, 2008 | 1 Comment
Extract from: E-Course given by Save My Marriage Today.
According to Michael P. Johnson, professor of sociology at Penn State, there are three things that keep a person in a marriage: people want to stay, they feel they ought to stay, and/or they have to stay. This combination of personal, moral, and structural commitment serves to keep people in marriages.
Notice that commitment keeps people in marriage–not happiness. Dr. Ted Huston of the University of Texas Austin studied couples from courtship to marriage. His ten-year-plus study exploded many popular misconceptions about love. For example, he found that many recently wed couples did not experience newlywed bliss; in fact, couples whose marriages began with “Hollywood romance” intensity soon burned out. A couple expecting wedded bliss every day of their lives was actually more likely to divorce than a couple with a less exciting relationship, because they were more likely to consider divorce when those intense feelings subsided. Does that mean that less exciting, even lackluster relationships last? They do indeed, perhaps because they have less far to fall.
Research shows that unhappy periods in a marriage are not indicative of future unhappiness. In fact, one study showed that 86% of unhappily married couples who stayed with their marriage were happier five years later–three fifths of whom were “quite” or “very happy.”
According to the 2004 “State of Our Unions” report by the National Marriage Project, the percentage of married people 18 or older who said that their marriage was very happy has declined over the last quarter century, from about 69% in the mid 1970s to 64% for men and 60% for women today. That’s less than two-thirds of the married population who considers themselves very happy in their relationship. Clearly, you don’t have to be blissfully in love or very happy for your relationship to last. What do you need?
It’s not love and luck. It’s commitment and companionship. Commitment means that you have powerful personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay in the relationship. Companionship means that you and your partner form a unified team against whatever challenges life hands you. Team members may fight, disagree, and encounter stalemates, but they know that their happiness and satisfaction in life depends on the success of the team–not on their individual success.
If you want to get the whole e-course, get it FREE at Save My Marriage Today. When you arrived at the site, scroll down below the message from Amy to sign up for the e-course.
So You Were The One Who Cheated And Now You Want Your Ex Back?
September 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment
So you cheated on your boyfriend or girlfriend and they broke up with you. Now you want them back right? Your situation isn’t actually as bad as it seems and I bet that one of biggest emotion you may be going through right now is guilt at its worse.
The best way to understand how you can win back your ex is to step out of your shoes for a moment and step into their shoes. Think for a second what it would feel like if you suddenly found out that your boyfriend or girlfriend was being unfaithful to you instead. To get you started, here are two main emotions that people feel when they find out that they have been cheated on.
The immediate first emotion is anger. If you could describe your ex’s personality, what was it? If they are the more “insecure type,” it’s more likely they will be mad at you. Don’t be surprised if they are out trying to get revenge on you by “seeing someone else.” If you want to get your ex back, don’t let that comment scare you. You’re ex still loves you, they’re just going through a pretty rough time.
Just be mature about it and accept that they may be overwhelmed with feelings of anger and will try to do everything they can to show you that. Ironically, the more they show you, the more they still have feelings for you. Give them some space and time to just chill. In the meantime, try to be as understanding as possible.
The second main emotion when dealing with infidelity is depression. If you feel depressed upon hearing this, hang in there. I know it’s rough but hearing the news that your girlfriend or boyfriend cheated on you with someone else, can leave one’s dignity in the gutter, making them feel almost helpless to carry on. If your girlfriend or boyfriend is of the more “reserved type,” it is more likely that there depression will linger on. Again, don’t be surprised if they give you the “silent treatment” for some time.
Be as helpful as you can to communicate with them. Show them that you care even if it just means calling them or sending an email back saying that what you did was wrong and that you’ll do your best to make it up to them. If you could add some humor, that would be awesome. Humor is always a good tactic to break the ice. It’s normal if they don’t respond to you so don’t panic, but remember, keep the recovery process rolling. Your ex may be pretty lonesome right now, so if you can, help them out by being supportive and giving them positive feedback, even if it means boosting their ego a little bit. This will help them recall some of the cherished memories you guys had together. Hope this helps you and good luck in winning back your ex.
Author Bio: Tristan Lee is passionate about helping others get their ex’s back. If you were the one who cheated on your boyfriend or girlfriend, and want to get them back by starting with a fresh, clean slate, visit http://www.expotions.com!