Signs Your Spouse is Having an Extramarital Relationship
March 15, 2009 | Leave a Comment
It can be the worst feeling in the world to find out that your spouse is having an extramarital relationship, and sometimes you never know. There’s a feeling in your gut that tells you something is wrong, you have at least that much, but what are some other signs that your suspicions might be true?
There are lots of signs that you should be looking for in your spouse if you suspect an extramarital relationship brewing, or even happening right under your nose. There are always the classic signs like new excuses to stay away from home longer such as longer work hours or surprise meetings, and weird phone calls of their cell phone late at night that are constantly the wrong number. But what about the less commonly known signs of wayward spouses?
Watch their eyes – Most spouses will lie about where they’ve been or who they’ve been talking to if they are involved in an extramarital relationship. Many experts you can almost certainly tell a lie by the direction of the eyes. If you ask your spouse a question and their eyes move up and to their left or just straight to their left, they’re probably lying to you. That’s a sign of visual or auditory construction, meaning your spouse is trying to make up a story to tell.
Daily Behavioral Changes – Most people are habitual, not in terms of having a lot of habits and such, but meaning that their daily lives follow some sort of routine. A cheating spouse will often deviate from their routines, a lot of the times being completely sporadic and seemingly unorganized. This is a sign of an extramarital relationship that is often overlooked but is usually very plain to see.
Eating Habits – Have you noticed that your spouse asks you to cook food in a certain way, or they now complain about your cooking and they never were concerned with it before? Your spouse may be becoming more accustomed to his or her lover’s tastes. A spouse involved in an extramarital relationship will sometimes have a “change in appetite” as well. They may come home already full, or may put off eating with you at all so they can go out with their lover. Another common sign of infidelity, but it often goes unnoticed.
Now there are a couple of signs that you might not be able to see because your spouse will go to extensive lengths to keep their actions hidden. Cheating spouses will use cell phones and computers to keep in touch with their lover, but it won’t be so easy for you to uncover it, unless you have some expert help on your side. If either of these are a possible factor in your spouse’s unfaithful activities, you should consult with a computer hard drive forensics specialist or a cellular forensics specialist.
These experts will be able to expose anything on either of these devices that your spouse has deleted or erased as an attempt to try and maintain the secrecy of their extramarital relationship. Usually, these forensics specialists work alongside a private investigator and the reports that you will receive back will be extremely detailed. An examination of a computer hard drive will turn up email conversations, website logs, instant messaging logs, and anything else that may have been erased. A cellular forensics examination will reveal deleted text messages, deleted pics, caller ID logs, and whatever else your spouse may have deleted from their phone.
It’s worth a shot to hire a private investigator to conduct an infidelity investigation of your spouse is you have even the slightest feeling that they might be having an extramarital relationship. Maybe you’re just being paranoid. Then again, your suspicions might well be true. You owe it to yourself to find out.
Author Bio: Ed Opperman, president of Opperman Investigations Inc, is an expert in Cellular Forensics and infidelity investigations. If you suspect your spouse is having an extramarital relationship and need help uncovering the truth visit http://www.emailrevealer.com
Infidelity Discovered? 10 Ways to Calm Your Powerful Feelings
March 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment
When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins “pulling away” you may also experience intense feelings. Read through this list and pick out a couple things you can do to help yourself during these times.
1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you.
2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: “I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen.”
3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing…anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don’t censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, “OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more.” Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it.
4. Find a safe place and spend some time there. Do you have a favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you feel safe and can “get away.” Intentionally spend some time there.
5. Use good “self talk.” Tell yourself, “You are OK. You will be OK. This too shall pass. What you are feeling is normal and will not destroy you.” Develop that “observing part” that can speak to your turmoil.
6. Pray. Meditate. Use your spiritual resources, if you have them. If you don’t have them, it can be a good time to develop them. Spirituality often affirms your worth and enables you to see the larger picture.
7. Be aware. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling and what you are doing. Pay close attention to these chunks of your life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain.
8. Encourage the rhythm of your feelings. Your feelings will come and go, often as in waves. There will be lulls and sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and frequency of the waves.
9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and professional coaching, often via telephone, is a helpful phenomenon that is increasingly popular as a way to find support and direction for specific problems.
10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and talking to people about your situation. Believe me, you are not alone. Many people have walked your path (well, not exactly your path, but close) and are there to offer their understanding and point out the bends and turns of your road.
About the Author; Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com.
Social Networking Sites – Open Door For Extramarital Relationship
March 13, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Social networking sites are ever so popular among young and old crowds these days, and they are also a breeding ground for an extramarital relationship. Everybody has a MySpace page and a Facebook wall, and there are a number of other social networking sites out there on the internet. Yes, it’s okay to be sociable to some extent, but it can quickly turn into an unfaithful situation.
When you first met your spouse they had a MySpace page, and you may have met them through that very medium. You never put any thought into it, but don’t you think it’s possible for them to ‘meet’ someone again? Even if you guys got together through the old school method of dating, you know, the normal face to face, we just happened to bump into each other and spoke type thing, social networking could still be a hazard to your marriage.
You felt like it was okay for your spouse to keep their social networking profiles, of course, because you have your own. But what if you don’t know about one or two your spouse may have created? Cheating spouses have been known to do that very thing, and there really is no way to tell just by normal speculation.
Social networking sites don’t limit the number of accounts you have, all you need is a valid email address. It’s really easy to meet people, even in your own area, and ‘add’ them as your friends. Some people go to places like MySpace to just have fun and chat with other people who have like interests. But, there are a lot of singles hanging out in places like that, and they are on the hunt for a date. Because of this, social networking sites have become somewhat of a problem for married couples, and that harmless profile might lead to an extramarital relationship.
Although, it’s usually not intentional, men and women tend to get a thrill out of meeting new people who take an interest in them. They appreciate the flattery, and depending on the circumstance of their marriage, it may lead them to fall much harder. Now, there are those who use social networking as a means of actually meeting people to cheat, and if you have any worries that your spouse might be one of them, you should definitely look into it.
If you have fears that your spouse may be having an extramarital relationship, you will need the assistance of an expert private investigator. They will be able to find out where your spouse has profiles, and if they are in fact using social networking to cheat. Make sure the you hire a PI that’s experienced in infidelity investigations as they will be able to provide the most accurate results, and they will cover all bases so that all of your concerns are addressed. Not only that, but they will do so discreetly, so your spouse will never know that they are being investigated. And anytime you have a cheater on your hands, you want to be sure NOT to tip them off. So if there’s something to be uncovered, a dating service investigation would be your way to go.
Author Bio: Ed Opperman, president of Opperman Investigations Inc, is an expert in Cellular Forensics and infidelity investigations. If you suspect your spouse is having an extramarital relationship and need help uncovering the truth visit http://www.emailrevealer.com