Changes in Internet and Cell Phone Habits - Your Spouse Could Be Having an Extramarital Relationship

April 22, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If you’ve got a feeling that your spouse may be having an extramarital relationship, then there’s a strong possibility you could be right. Not saying that every gut feeling is a surefire way to tell that your spouse is cheating, but it is often the first ’sign’ that you will get that something is wrong. You may have noticed small changes in your spouses habits, or that they’ve developed totally new interests. Regardless, you have the feeling that something isn’t right, and the even worse thought that they might be cheating.

Maybe you’ve noticed that your spouse has recently shown an increased interest in the internet, or perhaps they spend a lot more time on their cell phone. Either of these could be signs of an extramarital relationship. Some cheating spouses turn to emails and constant instant messaging as a means of communicating with the ‘other’ person. Then, some will just stick to their common gadgets like the cell phone. Chances are, if the possibility of an extramarital relationship is looming around in your head, you’ve noticed that your spouse leaves no trace of anything they do online or on their phone.

Big RED flag! Just based on their normal behavior patterns, you can probably determine that there’s at least something going on. Your internet history was never cleared for days at a time, but now it’s completely emptied. Your spouse’s cell phone always had a dozen and one call records, and lots of text messages from you, but now, there’s nothing there. These are definite signs of an extramarital relationship. They’ve all of a sudden become quite anal about these things, and might even be defensive with you if you ask them about it. Two words will be of great assistance to you in this case…digital forensics.

There’s no need for you to stay in the dark about what’s going on with your spouse when you don’t have to be. If you are weary from worrying that your spouse might be having an extramarital relationship, or just a little curious, you deserve to know the truth! You can find several private investigators, particularly those experienced in digital forensics, right online that would be more than happy to help you with uncovering your spouse’s hidden activities, whether it be late night conversations, secret meetings, or something else. Private investigators are able to use digital forensics to reveal what your spouse has been trying to hide. Such methods as cell phone forensic examinations are able to uncover deleted text messages, lost call history and old phone records.

The process is quite simple, and the turnaround for results is usually less than 7 days. You simply send the cell phone off to a digital forensics lab, and then wait for your report. Even if your spouse has a pocket PC, you can also send that for examination. You will receive a full report of all deleted pics, text messages, called ID logs, address book entries, and any other data that can be extracted. Once you have the results in hand, if needed, a private investigator can further investigate the situation for you and possibly reveal even more about your spouse.

There is help available to you, just make sure that you seek the advice and services of a qualified expert. Anytime you are faced with the possibility that your spouse is involved in an extramarital relationship, you should choose a private investigator that is well experienced in the area of infidelity investigations and digital forensics as their work will be the most beneficial to you.

Author Bio: Ed Opperman, president of Opperman Investigations Inc, is an expert in Computer and Cellular Forensics and infidelity investigations. If you suspect your spouse is having an extramarital relationship and need help uncovering the truth visit http://www.emailrevealer.com

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Cheating Spouses 

How Do You Know If You Married The Right Person?

April 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment

During one of my live seminars, a woman asked me a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It depends. Is that your husband?”

In all seriousness, how do you know?

Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness, and here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love…because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

And make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable—you can “make” love.

That’s why I created the Marriage Fitness system. So you would have a step-by-step system for making and maintaining love in your marriage. And the program works for any marriage even if only one spouse does it. If you’d like to explore Marriage Fitness risk-free, then subscribe to my FREE breakthrough report “7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” and get a FREE marriage assessment too. To subscribe, CLICK HERE. It’s FREE.

About the Author: Mort Fertel, Marriage Coach & Author of Marriage Fitness

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Marriage Advice 

How Do You Know When To Call It Quits?

April 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment

One of the questions I’m most frequently asked is, “How do you know when it’s time to quit?”

If divorcing is a consideration for you from a moral perspective, then before you go that route, try first for at least one year.

Did you hear that?

Try for at least one year!

And I mean REALLY try. You can always call it quits. You always have that option. But once you pull that trigger, it’s over. No more chances. Your life will never be the same. Do you have kids? If you do, their life will never be the same.

If you end your marriage, you don’t want there to be a shred of doubt in your mind. You don’t ever want to look back and wonder if things could have been different. You don’t want to ask yourself, “What if this…and what if that…what if I tried this…what if I did that?”

If you have to end your marriage, you want to know DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you did everything you could to make it work.

If you have to end it, you want to be able to move on with your life and into another relationship with a clear head. You want to come to a place of healthy “completion.” THIS IS CRUCIAL! And to accomplish this, in my experience, it takes at least one year. I know it probably seems like a long time, but it’s an investment in the rest of your life.

Here’s the key point. Listen carefully. It’s a good investment for the rest of your life WHETHER YOUR MARRIAGE SUCCEEDS OR NOT. Obviously, it’s a good investment if you turn your marriage around. But if you don’t, it will NOT have been a wasted year. It will have been the most important thing you could have done with that year because of how your effort will impact the rest of your life AND YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP.

I have seen too many cases of spouses ending their marriage prematurely, and as result of not reaching “completion” in one relationship, they find themselves in the same situation a few years later with someone else.

The work I do with marriage coaching clients sometimes turns out to be more beneficial for them in their next relationship than in their current one.

I remember once when the marriage of someone who registered for the Lone Ranger track of the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp ended in the middle of the program. This man asked me if he should continue with the final 3 weeks of the program. I said, “Absolutely.”

He responded, “Why? What’s the point? My marriage is over.”

“You’re not doing it for this marriage,” I explained. “You’re doing it for the benefit of your next one.”

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that your intention while you’re working on your marriage should be for the benefit of your life after your marriage. Your intention needs to be to restore your CURRENT relationship. But if you fail, your effort will NOT have been for naught.

Bottom line is this. If you’re asking, “When is it time to call it quits?” The answer is: one year after you think you’re done. If after one year of trying everything in your power to make your marriage work you’re still miserable, then you should consider moving on. Until then, hang in there and don’t give up.

This topic reminds me of my situation many years ago. I remember learning late one night that my wife had an appointment with a divorce attorney the next morning. We were hours from “done.” Who would have ever thought that we could turn things around at that point?

It’s NEVER too late! In fact (and here’s real food for thought), very often the turning point in a marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom. Sometimes it’s not until things couldn’t get worse that they can get better.

I wish you and your spouse the best. If you’d like further information to help with your marriage, then subscribe to my FREE breakthrough report “7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” and get a FREE marriage assessment too. To subscribe, CLICK HERE. It’s FREE.

About the Author: Mort Fertel, Marriage Coach & Author of Marriage Fitness

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Marriage Advice 

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