Why You Should Ditch the Rules

May 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment

A long, long time ago, the path from courtship to marriage was clear. Women waited for men to ask them out, allowed men to pay for every date, and breathlessly anticipated a marriage proposal.

Back then, the rules of courtship were clearly defined. There were things a woman did … and things she should NEVER do. Only a vulgar and shameless woman would pursue a man.

Many of today’s so-called “time-tested secrets” for meeting and attracting Mr. Right come from that era, an age in which men were MEN, and women were WOMEN, and gender roles kept them an arms-length apart.

Playing by those rules today isn’t just old-fashioned; it’s just plain limiting. Today, we as women have more freedom than at any other time in human history. We can work in whatever job we want, live wherever we want, and date whomever we want! Why, then, would we willingly step back under the yoke of courtship Do’s and Don’ts designed in a culture that’s long past and good riddance?

Because, in the often-confusing modern dating world, rules make us feel safe. Do’s and Don’ts can keep us from making mistakes. Dating “rules” (like ending a phone call first, or not accepting a weekend date after Wednesday) can prevent us from getting rejected.

Or can they?

If you keep yourself from doing certain things around men and make yourself do others based on FEAR that you’ll make a mistake or FEAR that he’ll reject you, then you’re setting the foundation for a relationship based on insecurity.

It’s the same error our grandmothers and great-grandmothers made so many years ago: they looked to the MEN to define whether they were in a relationship, what form it would take, and how long it would last.

As a result, the only way women were able to influence the outcome was through indirect means – such being mysterious, playing “hard to get,” and not letting on how they felt – to get what they wanted.

Today, it’s wonderful that men and women both can be so open, honest, and direct about topics that were taboo just a few generations before. But with this freedom comes power … and a great deal of confusion.

Even though the old rules were restricting, at least they gave us the confidence of familiarity. We knew what to do. We knew what the man’s role was, and we knew what the woman’s role was.

But if men and women each have an equal say in dating and relationships, then who is supposed to make the next move … and what even IS the next move?

The old dating Do’s and Don’ts simply are not flexible enough to account for the way society has changed and the diversity of cultures that exists.

That’s why I believe it is so important that we develop a new paradigm for dating and relationships that reflects who we are as modern women in a modern dating world.

That’s why Amy Waterman, author of How to Be Irresistible to Men, and Marie Forleo, author of Make Every Man Want You, got together to produce a dating course unlike any other. They set out to show how women can find out what to do in ANY dating situation, in a way that’s appropriate, effortless, and completely IRRESISTIBLE … all without resorting to outdated Do’s and Don’t that may not even apply to them!

Their collaboration resulted in the riveting audio program, Make Every Man Want You MORE! Over the six-lesson course, Amy and Marie lay out the essential tools every modern woman needs in a modern dating world, what it takes to move a relationship along from casual to committed, how to navigate tricky dating areas like communication, sex, “baggage” from your past, and more.

Single women today can feel enormously pressured to live up to a high standard in ALL areas of their life, from their careers to their appearance to their love life. If you don’t want to settle for anything less than excellence in life AND love, then Make Every Man Want You More will teach you how to effortlessly and flawlessly achieve your goals.

Find out more by going to:

http://www.savemarriagehowto.com/go/want-u-more.html

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Other Marriage Articles 

8 Unhappy Marriage Signs: How to Know When Your Marriage is on the Rocks?

May 16, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Most love marriages start off with great feelings of happiness just like a fairy tale romance, but soon degenerate into something cold and boring, a kind of habit that both partners fall into and soon the marriage starts showing those inevitable unhappy marriage signs that all married couples dread. So what are these signs and how can you notice them and stop them from repairing your marriage until it’s too late?

Sign # 1

Both spouses have taken recourse to vulgar cursing and calling each other names and hurling the choicest of expletives and abuses at each other. Well, this might make you feel at peace with yourself for you have given vent to your anger, but has it helped your marriage in any way? It only leads to damaging behavior of further varieties such as depression, low self esteem, unhappiness, anger etc.

Sign # 2

Another unhappy marriage sign is when dinner times, which are supposed to be family get together times, become relegated to catching supper before the television or grabbing a bite on the run. In this way, it becomes impossible to stay connected to each other.

Sign # 3

Both husband and wife are attending the same social event, but are arriving and leaving separately and independently. Well, this will sure provide fodder to the gossip mills and make the grape vines buzz overtime.

Sign # 4

Other unhappy marriage signs that can spell doom are when either partners or one spouse feels that his/her responsibilities or work is more important than that of the partner’s. What you don’t realize is that it will leave your husband/wife feeling uncared for and unappreciated.

Sign # 5

When you stop listening to your mate, it signifies that something is wrong in your marriage. What you don’t realize is that by keeping yourself busy with yourself and with your job or activity, you are neglecting your partner, hurting his/her feelings and emotions and giving rise to depression, frustration and coldness. Your spouse will start to suffer from a deep lack in his/her life.

Sign # 6

A loveless marriage that has no fire in it is another sign that your marriage is not healty. In such dead marriages, the sexual spark fizzles out prematurely; the couple no longer feels the desire to get intimate between the sheets and drifts apart from each other.

Sign # 7

Whereas once you used to kiss with a lot of passion and intensity and fire, nowadays you just give each other quick pecks on the cheek. This is surely a sign of a dissipating passion.

Sign # 8

When the lines of communication break down and the events and incidents of the day are not shared it forebodes something bad. The emotional intimacy will degenerate into coldness.

Some more unhappy marriage signs that are seen frequently are an unusual silence between the two partners when they have stopped sharing their thoughts and feelings with each other and stopped getting touchy feely or passionate or flushed with desire.

Author Bio: Meredith Glee runs the site Save your marriage where you can download a free marriage report and join her newsletter and receive important marriage advice. You can also read more articles on how to have a happy marriage

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Marriage Advice 

How to Have a Happy Marriage - 5 Easy Tips

May 13, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Marriage is that social institution or sacred space where a man and a woman are formally united for the purpose of living together and sharing their life together, but in current times when an increasing number of marriages is falling apart and heading towards splitsville, the primary concern in the minds of most married individuals is how to have a happy marriage. Well, let me give you a few pointers on having a good relationship which may be of use to quite a good number of warring couples.

The power of a simple touch

Just as mothers touch their babies often and pat them on the back to assure and reassure them, similarly going tactile with your partner and touching them gently and affectionately at times, like squeezing their hands or patting on the bum or giving an affectionate tap on the head can directly hit at the emotional think tank of your spouse and communicate that feeling of intimacy and affection. A gentle touch when your partner is feeling upset or down in the dumps can calm him/her down in a few seconds.

How to say thank you

When your partner does a good deed for you or something that is helpful but very trivial, don’t ever forget to say thank you from the bottom of your heart. The main reason why most marriages fall apart is because one partner or both partners start to take each other for granted. Basically what I mean is to let your partner know that he/she is indispensable in your life and that you cannot do without him/her.

How to have a happy marriage through a fulfilling sex life

Another reason why most marriages fall apart is because the couples stop having sex and the physical intimacy breaks down and hits ground zero. In fact when a couple in the mid thirties stops having sex, it sure is a sign of trouble brewing up. Try to keep yourself attractive, fit and sexy, pay attention to personal grooming and hygiene and you must remember to court each other.

Vacations and recreations

The best way to eliminate boredom in a placid marriage and to revive that spark is to enjoy recreations or take vacations which both partners will enjoy to the hilt. Try out adventure sports or scuba diving together. Don’t force your spouse to follow something that he/she won’t like. For e.g. all wives aren’t keen on fishing expeditions or golfing tours. Sometimes you should give priority to your spouse’s interests as well.

Successful sharing of domestic chores

When the wife has to cook, clean, tend to the children, shop for groceries, attend to ailing husband or kids, run out to pay bills, wash dishes and clothes apart from pursuing her job, she becomes easily stressed out and breaks out into temper tantrums. As a kind and considerate husband, it is your duty to help her.
Hopefully if you follow some of these “how to have a happy marriage” tips and guidelines, your married life will be a success story as well.

Author Bio: Meredith Glee have written several marriage articles on how to have a happy marriage and other related marriage problems.

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Marriage Advice 

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