The Secret Of A Happy Marriage
June 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment
When we marry we all intend to live happily ever after. Why then do so many marriages breakdown? I believe that one of the basic fundamental reasons is the lack of giving love freely to one another. When two people come together and unintentionally only expect to receive love, then ultimately there will be no giving or receiving of love for either. However, when two people come together and give their love, both people give and receive love in abundance.
The secret is you can only give what you possess. To have a good relationship with someone else you must first have a good relationship with yourself. To be capable of giving love to someone else you must truly love yourself. I don’t mean in a vain shallow way, I mean in a wonderful healthy way.
The following words written by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. are extremely profound:-
CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
So many of us have not been given the love we all deserve but it is never too late to learn. We can all learn to be more confident, build self-esteem and love and accept ourselves as we are. The first step to changing anything is to be aware of it. We must be honest about how we take care of ourselves. Try answering some of the following questions:-
Do you love yourself?
Do you know that you are special?
Do you speak kindly to yourself or do you beat yourself up for the mistakes you make?
Do you feel confident?
Are you calm and peaceful in most situations?
Do you like yourself and are you proud of your beliefs?
Are you happy with the way you look?
Meditation helps us feel better about ourselves. It creates inner peace and builds confidence. Meditation gets rid of stress, anxiety, frustration, and anger. It helps us to be more able to be grateful and appreciate others, become more tolerant and harmonious, have a better outlook on life, and have the benefit of more satisfying relationships. Mediation can only improve the life you are living; providing both physical and emotional benefits that will change your life in a positive way allowing you to enjoy wonderful relationships.
About the Author: Marilyn Ann Barker-Smith is the co-founder of Project Meditation. The inner peace gained from meditation can be amazing, which is why we offer a free meditation course.
I Saw Her Husband Cheating – Should I Tell Her?
June 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment
It’s a happens more times than you would think! You’re out and about running an errand, minding your own business and you bump into a friends husband and he’s with someone he’s not suppose to be with. Initially he doesn’t see you, but you stand and you watch and you observe that the woman that he’s with is clearly more than a friend. Your friends husband is having an affair and you are left wondering what you should do next.
Your thoughts are, as you sit down with another friend later that evening with your own husband, you tell him this: “I saw her husband cheating, should I tell her?”
Your husband warns you against saying anything, but the reasons that he lists are valid, but still your dilemma prevails and you don’t know what to do for the best.
Here’s some of what your husband might have said to you:
“I Saw Her Husband Cheating” – Shooting the Messenger
Telling the unsuspecting wife means you could end up having both barrels blasted at you from a wife who is not ready to face what her spouse is up. She might have built herself a safe little emotional cubby hole where she goes and hides out from the reality of her life. Anyone who attempts to blast her out of that cubby hole, into the reality of what is actually going on, is going to get it!
Plus, ask yourself this, is she going to believe what you’re saying to her? Again denial is a powerful tool when you’re in a desperate place.
“I Saw Her Husband Cheating” – Are You Ready For the Mayhem?
If you do tell her and she confronts him with what she’s discover, you’re pretty much guaranteed to have your name thrown around in the ensuing mayhem.
Again, you could end up being the bad guy that the two of them unite against and turn their anger and range onto. So before you go jumping in doing ‘the right thing’ ask yourself if you’re ready to be the fall guy for their woes.
“I Saw Her Husband Cheating” – But it’s Not My Business
Many people faced with what to do after witnessing something they shouldn’t have, take the stance that it isn’t their business and they’re not getting involved. Which is completely understandable given what could happen if you tell the unsuspecting wife.
If you decide that you’d rather stay out of it don’t beat yourself up and feel guilty about your decision. You are not responsible for anyone else’s choices or decisions.
“I Saw Her Husband Cheating” – Should I Have a Quiet Word With Him?
For many this is the solution that a lot of people will opt for. Having a private word with the cheating husband to warn him that you know and that he better fix up and either end the affair or tell his wife, is not a bad strategy to opt for.
It removes you from the full on fire and wrath of the wife, but talking to the cheating husband also makes you feel that you have actually done something!
Whatever you decide to do in a dilemma such as this, make sure that you think really clearly, long and hard before you decide to do what you consider ‘the right thing!’ What you saw or think you saw, might suddenly not be so black and white!
Author Bio: I saw her husband cheating – discovering that a friend’s husband is cheating on her, might well be one of the big dilemmas that you are faced with. Should you tell her or should you keep what you saw to yourself? Click here for more help: Is Your Spouse Cheating On You?