Can I Stop My Divorce

August 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Can I stop my divorce? Have you been asking yourself that question lately? It’s a hard question to answer because every situation is so different. In many cases, “Can I stop my divorce?” can be answered, “Yes, for at least a while.”

Divorce lawyers do a booming business. Over half of marriages end in divorce. Have you ever wondered why that number is so high?  Is it because too many couples get married too quickly before they really know what they’re getting into? Are they asking, “Can I stop my divorce?” practically before the last piece of wedding cake is wrapped?

Are people marrying too young? These things might seem like pat answers, but when you consider that many couples who have been married for 20, 30 and 40 years are getting divorced too, that seems to eliminate the more frivolous marriages and divorces like those we see among starlets and stars.

No, usually when you wonder, “Can I stop my divorce?” it’s not because you married too young or because you’re in a marriage that was doomed from the start. It’s just that you’ve grown apart from your spouse.

On one hand that’s good. It means you’ve grown, and generally a married person needs to be in a caring, nurturing marriage to grow. On the other hand it’s all too easy to grow in such a way that we feel a bit isolated from our spouse, as if they don’t know a certain part of us that we might like to keep private.

When one spouse grows and takes on new interests, it can cause that disconnect between the spouses. Sometimes there’s jealousy and envy that a spouse is succeeding while the other feels inadequate or cheated in some way. Marriage counseling is the recommended treatment for such feelings.

Until or instead of counseling, though, you can try to take an interest in something that your spouse does apart from you. You’ll quickly discover if the gap between your activities is the problem. If your spouse isn’t thrilled about your interest, then let it go. He or she considers that particularly activity to be me time for them.

On the other hand, if your spouse seems very enthusiastic about you getting involved, maybe that was part of the problem all along. He or she wanted to include you but didn’t know how to go about it, or didn’t think you would be interested.

Show genuine interest and ask questions without overdoing it unless you are genuinely excited by the topic. Engage your spouse in conversation about the interest. Be affectionate as you’re talking by putting a hand on his/her arm or shoulder.

Since you’re wondering, “Can I stop my divorce?” you’re going to want to do everything you can get to things on your side. You’re in rescue mode, so no matter how disinterested you might be in your spouse’s hobby, don’t let it show.

And while you’re wondering, “Can I stop my divorce?” don’t forget that your spouse might turn around and ask you about your hobby, too.

4 Tips To Help Save Marriage

August 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment

There are 4 good tips to help save marriage. None of them are terribly difficult to do, and they’re all very inexpensive. They’re simple common sense. Yet many people won’t try them, not even to save marriage.

The first tip is to just stop arguing. Every time your partner says something that you want to get grumpy with or correct, just learn to let it go. By doing this you’re doing yourself and all of us a favor. When one person can learn to let things start rolling off her back, the other one will follow suit.

To help save marriage, you are probably going to have to be the one to learn to let things go. You never know, your partner might be working on the same skills at the same time. But no matter how badly both people want to save the marriage, usually only one person is working on trying to keep the peace.

If your partner thinks that shirt is blue when it’s really an odd green, just think in your head “it’s green!” but let it go. It comes down to deciding that you want help save marriage and that’s more important than always being right about everything, or making sure your partner doesn’t make a mistake.

The next thing is to be dating again. Even if you’re not actually dating and going out together, you have to approach your relationship as if it’s new and you’ve just started dating. This isn’t always easy, especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, but it’s necessary.

We all have a different perspective on our partners when the relationship is new. Everything is fresh and more exciting. After a while that freshness wears off and we start to get bored. Some call it routine and familiarity, but most people call it boring and predictable.

If you want to help save marriage, then make sure it isn’t as boring and predictable as it has been. Surprise your partner with a special date night (and make sure you can reschedule, just in case they can’t go).

The third step is to love your partner in the way he or she wants to be loved. We all have things that make us happiest. Some like to be told that they’re loved constantly. Others find small gestures like you offering your gloves to them on a cold day to be the greatest things ever.

Some might think that changing the oil on the car for them is a supreme act of love, while others just want to be told “I love you” so they can feel cherished. The point is, your hours of loving your partner will be twice as effective if you do the things that you know make them happy.

Finally, be physically affectionate. Love and marriage aren’t all about sex, but it’s still important. If you want to help save marriage, you’ll hug and kiss you partner many times throughout the day for no reason at all.

Scorpio Relationship Watch That Stinger

August 5, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If you’re in a Scorpio relationship, you may be a very brave soul! Scorpios are wonderful companions, and are fiercely loyal. But when things go wrong, the other person in a Scorpio relationship can end up feeling a bit stung.

Scorpios are take charge kind of people, who like being in charge and controlling the relationship. That doesn’t mean you should give in on everything. But it helps if you understand their nature is to automatically try to lead the way in almost every situation.

When you feel the need to take charge, simply express yourself and you’ll win your Scorpio’s respect and admiration for standing up for yourself. Scorpios appreciate determination and moxie in a partner, because those are things Scorpios have no shortage of.

It may help to understand your partner by knowing that Scorpios relish a challenge. Playing a little hard to get at times might be just the thing. But don’t play too hard to get, because if it seems you’re truly not interested, your partner will lose interest, too.

It’s one thing to win someone over, but to drag them clawing and kicking is another. A Scorpio loves to convince other people that their opinion is right, but by diplomatic means rather than aggressive ones. So keep it interesting by asserting yourself and not giving in, but if you resist too many things too much, the Scorpio relationship might get a little too heated.

Scorpios can be wonderful and generous partners. And sometimes they have very slow tempers that can take a lot. But when this sun sign does finally get angry, watch out! It’s not going to be pretty. Even if the Scorpio doesn’t actually show his or her temper, they’re seething beneath the surface.

Unfortunately for many relationships, people born under this sign can hold a grudge forever. If you mess up, don’t expect to be instantly forgiven. In fact, the thing you did wrong might be brought up in every argument for years to come. Some Scorpios are obviously better at forgiveness than others. But if not, it’s hard to get them to forget something you did wrong.

Sometimes, Scorpios tend to think you can read their minds. Or more accurately, they think you should be able to read minds. If you’ve broken up and are back in your Scorpio relationship trying to make it work, you need to remember this tendency.

If your partner is in a huff, angry, short-tempered or otherwise acting poorly, it could be that you haven’t figured something out they want you to figure out. This can be a frustrating Scorpio tendency, because even if you ask what’s wrong you might get only, “How can you not know?”

The key to making this work is to explain that you really need them to tell you. Why you didn’t pick up on the problem doesn’t matter, though you should be on the look out for problems, of course. But if they’re not willing to tell you what they need, it’s very hard to make a Scorpio relationship work.

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