5 Strategies To Win Back Lost Love
September 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment
We all have emotions and love is the strongest passion of them all. Therefore, when love ends, it may seem fatal. But there are ways to win back lost love. This article will look at five strategies to pursue when you are trying to get your lover back.
First of all, you need to be honest to yourself and to each other. If there were underlying problems in your relationship, it is essential that you address them. For instance, if housework was a big issue, you need to address it before you can get back together. If you are messy and your ex was a neat freak, it can cause a considerable amount of stress in the relationship. If one person felt they were doing all the housework, it can cause a strain. Finances are another area where there can be strain. To win back lost love, you have to address these areas before you get back together.
Next, you need to be a dependable person. If you have broken up already, you need to be dependable as an ex. You need to be there when he or she needs you, even though you no longer have a “responsibility” to. For instance, if she’s moving, lend a helping hand and your truck. If he needs someone to type his resume, do it for him.
Third, encourage your ex. One of the things people miss when they break up is the encouragement their partner gives them. So, to win back lost love, try to find out where they are discouraged and cheer them up. If they are having a performance review at work, send an email timed to get there right before the meeting. If they are singing a solo at church, show up to give them some moral support.
Fourth, listen to them when they call. Most of the time after a break up, there is some level of communication. Often, this degenerates into fights. But, if you really listen to the things your ex is telling you, you may be able to figure out a way to get back into their life. Encourage them to share their problems with you. Don’t try to solve them. Just let them express their concerns with life. Be a sounding board.
Fifth, don’t sit on the sidelines. Life is meant to be played on the playing field. If you sit on the sidelines, it’s likely that someone else will become the quarterback of their life. Don’t give up on the relationship unless you are ready to move on yourself. Things are not going to get better on their own. You have to go out and make things better.
If you want to win back lost love, you have to take this five part action guide to heart. You have to be proactive.
The most important thing is to really care about your ex and to show him or her that you do care. You shouldn’t be worried if they date other people because they will come back to you if you are the right person for them.
You should know that it is possible to win back lost love. Now go out there and do it!
Did Your Girlfriend Break Up With You
September 16, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Did your girlfriend break up with you? You are not the first guy to go through this. In fact, girls initiate three quarters of the break ups while guys only dump the girl in one quarter of the situations. Therefore, guys have to deal with being dumped far more often than girls do.
Compounding the problem is the impression that men are supposed to deal with their emotions stoically. While women are allowed to dissect every part of their relationship, men are expected to roll with the punches.
But this doesn’t mean that men don’t have emotions. They hurt when women dump them. A girlfriend break up is quite painful.
First of all, men tend to place more value on stable relationships than women do. While a man might be interested in a fling with a woman who is not his girlfriend, what he really wants is someone who will be there in good times and bad.
But, once your girlfriend has dumped you, it’s important to figure out how to pick up the pieces and go on with your life.
First of all, you should find some way to express yourself. Girls can do this by writing poetry or talking about the relationship endlessly with their friends. Men often don’t feel comfortable with these options. But, if you play the guitar or piano, try writing some music that allows you to express your feelings. Many of the great songs are about the pain of breaking up.
Next, you need to clear out your place of all of the things that remind you of her. If she has clothes at your house, give them back. Throw away her toothbrush. And, if she’s given you any gifts that you want to keep, box them up for the time being until you can look at them without having turbulent emotions.
You will want to close off communications with her, at least for the short term. If either of you owe the other money, try to settle up so that won’t be an avenue for talking.
Then tell your ex that you want to go silent for a while. That means no calls, texts, or emails. Stay off each other’s myspace and facebook pages. In time, you may be able to be friends again, but right now you both need to give each other the space to heal.
Then, you need to get out of the house. Make a point of playing pick up basketball with your friends. Go out to a bar from time to time. Become a big brother to an underprivileged kid.
Then, start to get back into the dating scene once again. At first, you can have casual dates that may not lead to anything. But, over time, you will meet someone you really care about. And, at that point, you will know that you have some closure about the old relationship. You won’t be worried about the old girlfriend break up any more.
Save Marriage With A Marriage Counselor
September 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Are you thinking of divorce? Save marriage by seeing a marriage counselor. There are many therapists who say they do marriage counseling, but how do you know which ones are really good? This article will give you a checklist of things to look for in a family therapist.
First of all, you want to see what their credentials are. There are three basic classes of counselors.
The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor. These people went to graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation. In addition, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist. In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the person must have a doctoral level degree. Ph.D.’s are often more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy.
Then there is the M.S.W. This means Master of Social Work. Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations. They can work in institutions or with individuals.
Finally, there is the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling. Often called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations. They tend to have 2 year degrees and may not have written a thesis. They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.
If you are using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will probably direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they are less expensive.
Second, you have to determine what the price will be. Clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive. Remember you are trying to stop divorce. Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional.
Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.
Often, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income. If you qualify, this might make counseling affordable when it otherwise might not be.
Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has. Some of these policies include:
- What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
- Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
- Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session? Do they accept calls at home or just at the office?
- Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?
A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you don’t have split up. Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal. If you don’t feel that you are in synch with your counselor, move on and find someone who can keep you from divorce and save marriage.