Beating The Break-Up Blues
May 21, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Break-ups are the worst
You feel all out of sorts because life as you’ve known it prior to the break-up gets turned all upside down, and chances are you’re not quite sure which way is up right now.
While I do understand how painful breaking up can be, there are a few things you can do to help transition back into at least a semblance of “normal” life.
The key is to put your focus on something else
It may take a little time, but doing this will take some of the edge off the pain you’re feeling and let you move on through life without having to deal with a lot of the blocks and re-starts some folks can’t seem to get past.
Instead, they get stuck in “life without him/her mode” and have a hard time moving forward.
Don’t let this happen to you
Break-up’s are painful, yes. But the truth is, the world hasn’t ended, even if it does tend to feel like yours is falling apart at the moment. Life will and does go on – with or without you.
You, however, are a survivor. You won’t stay trapped in the past, because you’ll be moving forward.
For the first few weeks, it may be best if you don’t go to the places you and s/he often frequented together, and don’t try to hang out with what should be mutual friends.
You can pick up these extended relationships later, but for now, concentrate on things you know make you feel good that do not have a connection to him/her.
If you have trouble coming up with something to focus on, take some time to think about the kinds of things you enjoyed before you began your relationship.
Did you have a hobby you’ve kind of let go? Was there something you were passionate about before you and s/he met? Really give it some thought, and then start to do those things.
The more involved you become in doing things that make you feel good, the better you will feel. In time (faster than you think) you’ll be able to call on those friends you and s/he both enjoyed spending time with, and even face-to-face meetings with your ex will be easier to handle.
Just remember to put your focus on doing things that make you feel good, and you’ll beat those break-up blues in no time!
Help Prevent Marriage Failure
May 19, 2010 | Leave a Comment
If you are worried about marriage failure, you must sense that all is not rosy in your own love affair. Don’t panic, as most marriages go through periods where it seems that the divorce courts are getting nearer but it doesn’t have to end this way.
If you have children, you need to get a babysitter. Make a date with your husband away from your home. Go to a restaurant or bar as being in public reduces the risk of your conversation turning into a full scale row. However, leave the booze alone unless of course you have something to celebrate at the end of the day. It is difficult enough to discuss the issues or problems you are facing in your relationship without having an alcohol induced haze to fight as well.
It is important to take this discussion to neutral territory for a number of reasons. For one thing you have a duty to protect your kids from seeing the worst of the arguments between mom and dad. Now don’t get me wrong. Your children will benefit from seeing their parents have mutual disagreements as that is life – bringing kids up to believe that the world is a happy place all the time is just silly and in the long term detrimental to their well being. But you need to show them that married couples can argue and remain happily involved. They can disagree but come to a solution together without getting abusive or making appointments with divorce lawyers.
Before you go to this date make a list of all the things you love about your partner and all the things that drive you nuts. Hopefully the first list will be longer! Also try reading a couple of self help relationship counseling books as these can really help you to put things into perspective. I highly recommend reading the Magic of Making Up as it has saved countless marriages and relationships.
When you do go on your date, be careful how you approach your other half. If you start the evening off with “I hate it when” or “look at this list I made of all the reasons you annoy me” you are doomed to failure. You don’t want to attack your partner. OK, you may be angry and you may even have plenty of justification for being very angry but think about what you are trying to achieve.
You do not want your relationship to be another marriage failure statistic. Virtually any relationship can be saved if both parties want it to happen. You may have to persuade your partner that it is worth saving what you have. You will both have to work hard and the next few months may well be the most difficult you have yet encountered in the history of your relationship. But when you get through it you will find that your marriage is stronger and happier than it ever was. Now isn’t that worth fighting for?
Does Marriage Restoration Work?
May 16, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Are you wondering if marriage restoration works? Yes it does if you know exactly what to do and when. Love is like a plant – you need to nurture your love or it will die. You need to feed it on a regular basis and let it build in strength. A well nourished relationship is very hard to destroy.
If you need some ideas on how marriage restoration works have a read of Magic Of Making Up. The strategies in there will help most people to improve their relationships and not just those of us facing a marriage breakdown. Communication between couples can be fraught with problems. Our egos often get in the way and it not our egos, our pride. How often have you known that you should apologize for your behavior but decided that you couldn’t do it as you didn’t want to lose face. Some men let their egos go to their head. They lose a fantastic relationship with the woman of their dreams because some other girl looks attractive and shows interest. He can’t let his ego down by saying no, is unfaithful, gets caught and then wonders why he may need marriage restoration.
When you are part of a couple, life is not always easy. You have to compromise and this can mean that you spend your Saturday on the sidelines at a game when you would rather be in the Mall shopping. Or it could mean you take your wife and her parents out to dinner when you would rather be with your mates in a bar somewhere. But the benefits of being happily married far outweigh any disadvantages. Being able to come home to your loving partner at the end of a hard day. Knowing that there is always someone who believes in you and what you are trying to achieve. Knowing you are not on your own and don’t have to spend your life in a series of flings because you are lonely.
If you have children, you owe them the chance of growing up in a happy home with both their parents. They didn’t ask to come into your life, you invited them. All kids want Mom and Dad to stay together. Sometimes it is best for parents to split up but only if they have tried everything to make their relationship work first. They can’t just bail at the first sign of trouble. All couples go through phases of being less than happy with each other, but for the majority these phases will pass especially if you both make an effort to resolve the underlying issues.
Yes being happily married takes hard work and commitment but the benefits are fantastic. So if you feel marriage restoration would work for you today, get a copy of the Magic of Making Up, follow the instructions and get your relationship back on the right track now. Don’t wait until it is too late.