Beating The Break-Up Blues
May 21, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Break-ups are the worst
You feel all out of sorts because life as you’ve known it prior to the break-up gets turned all upside down, and chances are you’re not quite sure which way is up right now.
While I do understand how painful breaking up can be, there are a few things you can do to help transition back into at least a semblance of “normal” life.
The key is to put your focus on something else
It may take a little time, but doing this will take some of the edge off the pain you’re feeling and let you move on through life without having to deal with a lot of the blocks and re-starts some folks can’t seem to get past.
Instead, they get stuck in “life without him/her mode” and have a hard time moving forward.
Don’t let this happen to you
Break-up’s are painful, yes. But the truth is, the world hasn’t ended, even if it does tend to feel like yours is falling apart at the moment. Life will and does go on – with or without you.
You, however, are a survivor. You won’t stay trapped in the past, because you’ll be moving forward.
For the first few weeks, it may be best if you don’t go to the places you and s/he often frequented together, and don’t try to hang out with what should be mutual friends.
You can pick up these extended relationships later, but for now, concentrate on things you know make you feel good that do not have a connection to him/her.
If you have trouble coming up with something to focus on, take some time to think about the kinds of things you enjoyed before you began your relationship.
Did you have a hobby you’ve kind of let go? Was there something you were passionate about before you and s/he met? Really give it some thought, and then start to do those things.
The more involved you become in doing things that make you feel good, the better you will feel. In time (faster than you think) you’ll be able to call on those friends you and s/he both enjoyed spending time with, and even face-to-face meetings with your ex will be easier to handle.
Just remember to put your focus on doing things that make you feel good, and you’ll beat those break-up blues in no time!
5 Tips For Fixing A Broken Relationship
March 6, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Many relationships run into problem areas. At some point, your relationship, no matter how good, will have issues. These issues can be easy to work on. Some relationships can have bigger issues, however. These issues are much more difficult too work around. If you are working on fixing a broken relationship, you need to be sure to be cautious. You want to make sure that you take all of the necessary steps to fix what has been broken.
Identify the Problem
The first tip that will help you to fix your broken relationship is to fully identify the problem. Both of the people in the relationship need to have a complete understanding of the state of the relationship. If there was a specific event that caused the issue, you both should understand how that happened. If it was a series of events, you need to clearly define the issues and what caused them.
Let Them Know How You Feel
The second tip to fix your broken relationship is to be honest and open about how you feel. A relationship can only work if there is strong communication. You need to be open about how you feel. Be careful with your woods, but do not sugar coat your feelings.
Do not hide any of your feelings. You need to let the other person, in the relationship, know your emotions. Be descriptive. Are you angry? Upset? Sad? Mad? Disappointed? The more descriptive you can be, the more your partner will understand you.
Pay Attention
You need to be sure to pay attention to how they feel as well. Communication goes both ways. Listen to how descriptive they are about their feelings. Ask penetrating and specific questions to better understand how they feel. By doing so you will grasp the root of the primary problem.
Small Gifts
Small gifts can be a perfect way to start to mend a broken relationship. While it will not fix everything, it will show that you care, and that you are thinking of them.
Small Dates
Going on small, inexpensive but fun dates can also be beneficial. Having fun together is the perfect way to start to mend broken hearts and a broken relationship.
You need to make sure that you both fully understand the issue at hand. IF you are working on fixing a broken relationship, you need to be on the same page. From this point, you need to let them know how you feel. Be open about how you feel about the situation, and what you think can help it. Be sure to pay attention to what they have to say as well.
When you are sure that you are both on the same wavelength, you need to pay attention to the small things. Small gifts and small dates, especially gifts and dates with more meaning, are a good way to start to mend the relationship. You need to remind yourselves why you are in the relationship. This will help you to fix your broken relationship.
Dealing With A Relationship Breakup
March 3, 2010 | Leave a Comment
It is never easy to deal with a relationship breakup. Whether you are the one who ended it, or the one who was broken up with, it can be tough. Each side has to deal with different emotions. If you are dealing with a relationship breakup, there are certain things that you need to be able to do. By working on these three things, you can be sure that you will deal with the break up as best as you can.
Dealing with your Emotions
Most people will try to suppress their emotions right after a break up. Those who broke up with someone will act happy or in some cases; sad and lonely, while those who are broken up with will try to act as if they are ok. It is ok to feel sad, and it is ok to feel upset.
You need to deal with your emotions, and understand your emotions. Pushing your emotions to the back of your mind will simply stall the process. You cannot forget your emotions. Because you will simply deal with them at a later time. Ignoring your emotions will keep you from dealing with your break up. Confront how you feel, and allow yourself to feel that way.
Surround Yourself with Friends and Family
You need to surround yourself with friends and family when you are dealing with a break up. Your friends will help to comfort you when you feel sad. They will also help to take your mind off of the situation, when you need to start thinking of other things. Friends and family can be the perfect emotion regulator.
Friends and family will not let yourself get too upset, or too sad. They will still allow you to feel the emotions that you need to feel to get over the situation. They are the perfect people to lean on when you are dealing with a break up.
Work On Getting Over It
It can be easy for people to wallow in their sadness. They do not want to deal with the situation, or with how they feel. You need to avoid this by recognizing the self pity and dwelling in it, to the point of exclusion of all other things and people.You simply need to start thinking about moving on. You need to stat thinking about your situation, and what you may lose out on by dwelling on the break up.
In Summary
You need to confront your emotions, and you need to deal with them. Don’t be one of those people who push all their emotions to the backburner. Sure it’s nice to avoid the siutuation, for a short while, but the sooner you face it, the more likely you will begin to get a handle on it.
Don’t forget your friends and family are there to help you during your emotional difficulty. Rely on them for your foundation of getting over the breakup. It is important for you to work on getting over the break up, as you need to be able to move on.
These three simple, yet difficult to perform steps, will help you to properly deal with your relationship breakup.