Coping With Relationship Breakup

February 2, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Breaking up a relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend is a very devastating experience whether you are the one who initiated it or the one being dumped. It is especially heart wrenching when both of you were once in love or are still in love.

The one being jilted will usually be crushed emotionally while the one who intitates the breakup will most probably be feeling very guilty about it as well unless that person is totally heartless and cruel. Whatever it is, here are some advice on how to cope, deal with and survive a relationship breakup.

First thing to do is to accept the fact that the relationship over. Like it or not, life goes on. I know it is easier said than done, but then again, most adults have been through relationship breakups before and they have gotten over it, so why can’t you?

You need to be brave and put it behind you once and for all. The most important thing is to accept it. Do not cling onto the hope that a miracle will happen and bring him or her back to you as if nothing has happened.

If you cling to these false expectations, things will be even more unbearable. When you accept the fact that the other person will not be there for you any more, life will get easier day by day as you will be allowing time to do the healing.

You are only a human being with delicate feelings. So allow yourself to grieve a little once you have accepted the loss. Cry out loud if you want to, talk with friends and relatives to let go of your suppressed feelings. You will feel better this way.

However, don’t keep looking for sympathy until your friends and relatives begin to see you as a nuisance and begin to avoid you. If that is happening, it means that you have not accepted the loss of the relationship.

Many broken hearted people turned to listening breakup songs, sad songs or breakup poems during this stage. You may indulge in some of these things for self consolation, but do not let this phase cling on too long because listening to breakup songs and reading break up poems will only bring your memory back to the relationship and will be harder for you to get over it.

Do have self respect. Never blame yourself for a break up, even if you have done something wrong that may have triggered the end of the relationship. There is no point in self-incrimination as it will not undo the breakup but instead will make you feel more guilty and depressed. Be kind to yourself and your feelings.

Why punish yourself or entertaining suicidal thoughts for something that cannot be undone? There is life after a breakup and chances are that the right and even better person is there out looking for you just at this very moment. So respect yourself so as to give yourself another chance to be happy.

When that is done, take a well deserved break. Take advantage and enjoy your sudden freedom. You need to replace the negative feelings in your heart with positive feelings. The best way to create positive happy feelings is to indulge in yourself.

Do something such as watching a funny movies which can make you laugh even though you may not be in the mood for it. Or else, sign up with your local health club for an exercise program or simply go for a well deserved vacation and let your hair down! Lavish in your new found freedom!

Then allow time for healing process. A common tragedy among many people is to throw themselves into new relationships almost immediately after breaking up thinking that a new relationship could help them to get over the previous one. This could be a bad mistake as raw emotions may almost always give you the wrong reasons to start new relationships resulting in further breakups.

Look for new relationships only when you can look back on the broken one without any heartache. Do not use it as a leverage against the person who broke up with you.

Forget about getting back at him or her. If you are the one being dumped, forget about taking revege and be spiteful! Your situation is sad but it happens all the time everywhere. Breakups are usually emotionally shattering because they are interpreted as rejection. However, you must understand that it is not rejection of you per se. It just simply means to say that “things will not workout together.”

There is nothing personal about that. Everybody is entitled to their opinion. When you hate or plot for revenge, you can never let go of the past and you never really moved along. Do you really want that to happen?

All being said, how do you want to get on with your life is how you want and decide to let go and start things afresh. Only you can make the choice and make your pain easier and eventually, be healed. Time is the best healer, so do understand that it takes time for you to stop feeling the hurt in your heart. But you will be healed, when you finally allow yourself to be healed by time and get over your breakup, the day will come.

I trust that you will find the above coping with breakup information useful and wishing you speedy recovery in your heart and soul.

Author Bio: Chris Chew is a fitness, health and relationship consultant. Read his free articles at Save Marriage Stop Divorce and How To Get Alpha Male Sex Appeal

I Lost the Love of My Life

November 9, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Are you still holding a candle for your ex, telling your friends and family “I lost the love of my life”? If that sounds like you then there might still be hope to get your relationship back. There are some things anyone can do to make an ex fall madly in love with you all over again. You really can rekindle that old flame.

The first thing you need to think about is what might have gone wrong. Stop worrying about telling people “I lost the love of my life” and think about what positive steps you can take instead. When you can identify what you think went wrong in the relationship, you’re in a good position to begin working on tactics to rectify it and then put some things in place to get your relationship back.

All relationships begin filled with excitement and adrenaline. You both want to please the other person, so you make a big effort to look good and say the right things. You both enjoy each others company, because you’re both trying really hard to be enjoyable.

At this point most relationships move into a comfortable phase, where you both feel a little more relaxed. This is the phase where many relationships break up and it can take anywhere from a month to a year to reach this point, and even longer with other people.

Unfortunately, some women misread the signals from their man. They think his comfortable phase means he’s pulling away. Most women’s first instinct is to try hard to bring him closer again. The usual tactic they try is to cling tighter to him, wanting to see him more often and wanting him to reassure her that he’s not leaving.

The reality is men view these tactics as desperation and neediness, which makes them pull away. When their fun-loving, happy girlfriends begin these frantic efforts to cling to them, men feel as though they’ve lost the girl they fell in love with. Instead, they have a stranger who is making him feel as though he can’t do anything right. This is the main reason why men begin to pull away from their girlfriends.

By taking a bit of time out after a break up and working on finding your own confidence again means that you’ll realize you have the power to make yourself happy. You can pursue interests that please you or hang out with friends who make you feel good. These activities should also help you to realize that you don’t need your ex to make you feel happy. You can do that yourself.

With your new self-confidence and positive attitude, you’re in a much better position to call your ex and suggest getting together for a friendly chat over a cup of coffee. Let him see that you’ve found that happy, confident girl he fell in love with and his feelings will come rushing back. Remember, in the beginning of your relationship, it was the happy, easy going version of you that he fell in love with.

No relationship is perfect and of course you’ll have moments where things aren’t so perfect, but by making sure you both enjoy the time you spend with each other, you’ll be less likely to be telling people “I lost the love of my life” and more likely to tell people “I found the love of my life”.

Get more technique on winning your ex or finding the love here:
http://savemarriagehowto.com/go/makingupmagic-4.html

Are You Moving Towards a Breakup? - Part 1

September 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Are you going towards an inevitable break-up or your love relationship will remain strong. How much does your personality contribute to this? Do you know the answer to this? We find that there are some people who carry on together for life and there are some who follow a chain of breakups. What is the difference between these two types and what type are you?

Those who carry on for long have one trait- they never think about breaking up. They never treat that as an option. They may at times carry on with pain but they never break-up. They tolerate their partner and try to mend the relationship. They also give in more to their partner’s wishes and do not try to impose their own will. These people are now in a minority but there were days when the world was full of such people. No relationship was considered complete till marriage and no body thought about breaking up.

What kind of personality do you have? Are you tolerant? Do you always ask and are reluctant to give? Do you hate it if your partner does something against your wishes or laugh it away? Most importantly how far do you know about your own shortcomings? Also do you consider break up after every major argument? Does the thought that- I cannot live with this person any more come to your mind after arguments? Do you sometimes look at your partner as someone who troubles you more than give you pleasure? What do you believe about your relationship? Is the old love still burning in your heart or have you started looking around and find other people more attractive and friendly? Think about the answers to these questions and you will know the kind of future you will have. Most of us make our own destiny.

Try to know if your partner wants to break up with you. A relationship is made of two persons who want to stay in that. What if your partner wants to break-up? Will the relationship stay? Can you keep it going? This situation is not unique. Many of us face this kind of problem. We may be still love our partner and want to continue the relationship. But our partner may be making all efforts to break it up. What should you do if you are in such a situation?

The first step should be look back and think of words or actions of your partner, which must have given hint of what might be coming. At that time because of your love you might have ignored the hints. It is time to revisit those words and actions. If you can find a patter than you may be sure that your partner had been preparing for quite some time.

Does talking to your partner help? Does it help if you want to find out if they would like to continue? Does it help if you try to persuade them? Give this a try and find out their reaction. If the reaction is highly negative and accusing then better stop making efforts. Why I use the word accusing? Please read further in part two of this article series.

Author Bio: The author writes text messages and advises for internet and social networking content like myspace quotes and myspace comments. He also writes quizzes on subjects like personality, etc.

« Previous Page — Next Page »