How Marriage Counseling Can Stop Divorce

January 1, 2010 | Leave a Comment

It is common for couples not to see eye to eye and have squabbles now and then. However, when the word “let’s get a divorce” is angrily spat out by either party, it could be merely out of anger or heat of the moment. So if you cherish your family and kids, and still love your partner no matter how angry or frustrated you are, then it is time to save your marriage to stop the downward spiral which may lead to an unwanted divorce and a broken family. This is the time when both of you need to go for a marriage counseling therapy.

Marriage counseling is the last thing couples want to go through though. But if it can save your marriage from breaking up, then it is well worth it. So how to look for a good marriage counselor? Let’s find out with this article.

I must emphasise that it is of utmost importance to find a marriage counselor whom both of you like and able to feel comfortable with. After you’ve called or interviewed the counselor, ask yourself these questions:-

i) Does the marriage counselor seem interested in you? Use your intuition to feel his/her level of empathy.

ii) Does he/her ask you and your partner questions to get enough significant information about your marriage?

A good marriage counselor will create an environment where both of you and the counselor can feel safe and comfortable to discuss any issues no matter how embarrassing these issues may be.

Then you will need to check on the experience and track record of your potential marriage counselor. Ask to see his or her training qualifications and success rate in helping couples to successfully to save their marriages.

Ask him/her to provide referrals who have successfully saved their marriages and those who failed and call these referrals to ascertain the professionalism of your potential counselor. Do not be shy about this because if the counseling fails, you will be looking starkly at the prospect of an ugly divorce.

For this reason, find a counselor who has been in practise for several years and who counsels at least six or seven couples per week. It is vital to find a counselor who is truly a couple’s therapist and not merely a counselor trained to work with individuals who happens to see couples. This is because there is a risk that the therapist will treat individual unhappiness and not effectively address the couple’s specific issues.

This may be common sense, but in the fit of an emotional trauma and anger may be overlooked. Do find a counselor who is affordable and geographically convenient. Otherwise, either you or your spouse may come up with excuses like “we can’t afford it” or “it is to much of a hassle” to derail the progress you can make to save your marriage.

Now, make sure that your therapist believes in the institution of marriage. You may not know this, but some marriage counselors actually may tell you that divorce is the best option and helps you to facilitate divorce proceedings such as introducing you to divorce lawyers and then counsel you on the emotional traumas of a divorce. These are divorce counselors, not marriage counselors wherein he/she helps the couple to separate rather than stay together.

So if facilitating a divorce is not your goal and barring incidents like repeated illicit affairs, drug or alcohol abuse and or domestic violence etc, then it is certainly prudent to make sure that you see a marriage counselor who believes in the making the marriage intact.

If you or your spouse have a special problem, then go to a specialist in that field instead of a general practitioner marriage counselor. Such issues could be drug or alcohol abuse, sex addiction or domestic violence just to name a few examples. Thus the counselor that you choose must be skilled in addressing these issues.

Many counselors often choose a niche that they are passionate about and thus you can benefit from their additional knowledge and training in those specific niches.

So if you really want to save your marriage and believes that divorcing your spouse is the last option, then finding a good marriage counselor and going for marriage counseling may just save your marriage.

Author Bio: Chris Chew is a fitness, health and relationship consultant. Read his free articles at Stop Divorce Save Marriage and Lose Weight After Pregnant

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Marriage Counseling 

Consider Counseling To Help Save Marriage

November 12, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If your relationship is in trouble, you might want to consider counseling to help save marriage.  Your marriage is the central point in your life.  All of your other relationships – with children, with family, and with friends – revolve around the marriage axis.  Therefore, there is a need to help save marriage.

How do you know if marriage counseling is right for you?  If you have any of these problems, you might want to consider counseling to help save your marriage:

  • Infidelity
  • Communication
  • Conflict
  • Work-Life Balance
  • Problems with Children
  • Blended Family Issues
  • Family Violence
  • Substance Abuse

A family counselor or therapist will be able to help you to enhance your family relationship by helping you to explore effective communication techniques, conflict resolution solutions, and other kinds of “coping skills” that will make your family work better.  A therapist can also help you work on resolving deep issues that have carried over from childhood traumas.

So, how to you choose a family therapist?  Well, you should know that you don’t have to pick the first one you call.  It is perfectly acceptable to interview three to five counselors before deciding which therapist will work best for you and your spouse.

Some of the questions you might want to ask include:

  • Have you worked with couples experiencing the difficulties we’re having?
  • What should I expect from counseling?
  • What are your treatment methods?
  • What are your prices?

You can find the names of therapists by asking for referrals from friends or family members who have tried counseling themselves.  There are also referral services set up by non-profit boards who can give you the name or names of licensed professionals.

If you do not get a satisfactory number of referrals, you might want to check out therapist’s sites on the internet.  When the yellow pages was the only source of advertising for therapists, the consumer would get little more than a name and a phone number.  But now, a counselor’s site can include a resume, articles he or she has written, and a description of their practice.  You will be able to get an idea of how a therapist will work from his or her web site.

You do want to make sure that the therapist you choose is licensed.  Some therapists have what is known as a MFT (Marriage & Family Therapist License) which can only be obtained after a therapist completes both a master’s degree in Psychology and 1500 hours of internship work under another licensed therapist.  Other acceptable licenses include the LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), Ph.D or Psy.D. (Psychologist with a doctorate degree) and M.D. (Psychiatrist.)

You want to choose a licensed professional because there are educational, internship, and practice standards that must be maintained to retain the license.  “Relationship coaches” and others with similar names do not have similar obligations.

Different counselors have different payment options.  Some offer sliding scale fees while others are able to take insurance.

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Marriage Counseling 

Save Marriage With A Marriage Counselor

September 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Are you thinking of divorce? Save marriage by seeing a marriage counselor. There are many therapists who say they do marriage counseling, but how do you know which ones are really good? This article will give you a checklist of things to look for in a family therapist.

First of all, you want to see what their credentials are. There are three basic classes of counselors.

The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor. These people went to graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation. In addition, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist. In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the person must have a doctoral level degree. Ph.D.’s are often more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy.

Then there is the M.S.W. This means Master of Social Work. Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations. They can work in institutions or with individuals.

Finally, there is the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling. Often called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations. They tend to have 2 year degrees and may not have written a thesis. They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.

If you are using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will probably direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they are less expensive.

Second, you have to determine what the price will be. Clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive. Remember you are trying to stop divorce. Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional.

Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.

Often, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income. If you qualify, this might make counseling affordable when it otherwise might not be.

Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has. Some of these policies include:

  • What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
  • Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
  • Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session?  Do they accept calls at home or just at the office?
  • Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?

A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you don’t have split up.  Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal.  If you don’t feel that you are in synch with your counselor, move on and find someone who can keep you from divorce and save marriage.

Posted by Brahem | Filed Under Marriage Counseling 

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