How to Save a Marriage Quickly and Easily
October 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Is that for real? I don’t recall any readings that give a 24-hour result in the end. What if the problem’s the issue of having a baby? It isn’t possible to bear a child for twenty four hours. That’s ridiculous!
Also a person whose morale has been affected by the spouse can never change with just a flick of a hand. Spouses do not change as we please in just a day, unless of course you wanted your spouse to be like the Stepford Wives. You cannot make your spouse to change the heart as you please like how fast 7-Eleven employees take turns as the shift change. It isn’t like beef that you can just marinate overnight and the meal would already be fine. To save a marriage takes a lot of considerations and a lot of effort and time. So quit asking, “How to save a marriage quickly and easily?” It could be one of the most impossible things to do unless you truly believe that everything’s possible.
Speaking of possibilities, in the material world that we live in, almost everything has been possible. From communication to luxury, everything has become available with just the touch of a hand. If only you only have a speed dial to your spouse’s closed mind, you could’ve gotten her understand what’s troubling the marriage. Or if you can just have a speedy connection of brain waves, you can readily upload good things to your spouse’s jealous mind. It’s not that you are dreaming, but if technology’s possible, why can’t we save a marriage quickly and easily?
Similarly, if you could just have King Midas’ finger to touch the hearts of everyone around you into gold, how to save a marriage could just be as easy as pie. You wouldn’t have problems about those people trying barge into your happy marriage. Your mother-in-law would no longer be a monster-in-law after making her heart gold and pure. Isn’t it a great convenience? Even your neighbors would quit spying on your relationship to create gossips. Thereby, it creates the possibility to save a marriage quickly and easily!
If you can purchase express coffee in stores to awaken your sleepiness in the office, why can’t there be an express sachet of magic dust that can rekindle your falling marriage life? It would’ve been a better than Harry Potter’s magic. Even Hermoine would have been amazed if this express solution becomes available in local stores nationwide. The long lines of Apple fans would have been beaten by this product if ever it sold in stores. It’s not that a lot of marriages need rekindling but it couldn’t have been the finest solution to save a marriage quickly and easily!
In this lifetime, like bullet trains, instant goods, etc. have always driven our way of lives – fast-paced and self-centered; but is it possible to save a marriage quickly and easily? Of course! Just stop, pause for a while and pray.
Author Bio: Save Your Marriage TODAY! Professional marriage saver gives you FREE advice on how to stop divorce and learn how to save your marriage now! Go to http://www.SaveYourMarriageQuick.com.
The Meltdown
September 27, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Things go wrong. The oven malfunctions, the appetizer burns, and your snooty in-laws arrive to a smoke-filled house. You’re leaving for your brother’s wedding and the baby throws up on the perfect silk dress you shopped for months to find. The flight home from the conference your boss made you attend is late. You miss your own birthday party.
A meltdown is yours to have. The sweetheart who wants to earn points (or what my hubby and I call Frequent Foreplay Miles) shows support with, “That really sucks!” and leaves you to rant ‘n rave until you realize you’ve crossed the line from justifiably upset to childish.
There are times, however, when the meltdown is up for grabs and goes to the first taker. Example: Hubby Dale and I were traveling by rent-a-wreck from Point Nowhere to Point End-of-the-Earth in Patagonia. Mid-way, the the car died. Just as I opened my mouth to lament that we would be robbed and left to die where our bodies would never be found, Dale had a 10-on-the-Richter-scale tantrum. He pounded the steering wheel, turned the air blue, blue, blue, then got out of the car and began maniacally kicking it. Dang! I had been too slow on the uptake. He called dibs on the meltdown. It was my turn to stay calm. I didn’t try talking him off the ledge. I didn’t point out that his behavior wasn’t solving our dilemma. I let him enjoy the moment, supporting him by throwing in a few expletives of my own. He called losing-it-dibs. Fair is fair.
Although I didn’t get to have my meltdown, I’ve gotten good laughs from telling the story of when mild-mannered Dale went postal. And when I tell it, I get to throw in my highway robbery fears. It worked out. It usually does.
Here’s the rule: When what goes wrong happens to both of you, only one of you gets to have the meltdown. The other one stays calm. Someone has to deal with whatever it is that went wrong. Trust me on this. It’s the best way to avoid an argument and the quickest way to get your crazed sweetie back to the world of the sane.
Jean knows how to work the system. Richard’s meltdowns are preceded by a throbbing vein in his forehead. When one of the kids spilled cherry Kool-Aid all over the family room sofa and Richard’s vein began to throb, she seized the opportunity to get the new sofa she’d been wanting and beat him to the punch. She figured Richard would more readily agree to a new sofa if it was she who had the tantrum. She was right. Smart woman.
When things go wrong and you respond with a meltdown, the last thing you want to hear is that your behavior is ridiculous. So, the next time your love bug has a meltdown, return the favor. Giving your partner space to be less than perfect without being holier-than-thou judgmental is a great way to sustain intimacy by saying, “I love you, imperfections and all.” You’ll earn Frequent Foreplay Miles and we can all use those!
Author Bio: Shela Dean is Relationship Happiness Coach, speaker, and author of Frequent Foreplay Miles – Your Ticket to Total Intimacy. Her book and advice have helped many couples in their journey towards improving intimacy and strengthening marital bonds.
What Can Save Marriage When Everything Seems Hopeless
September 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment
What can save marriage when everything seems hopeless?
Marriage is considered a sacred institution by most of the world’s religions. It is the foundation of the family, which, in turn, is the foundation for society. So, there is a lot of emphasis on saving a marriage.
But that doesn’t mean that marriages today don’t run into trouble. The changing roles of men ad women, financial pressures, and difficulties with children all make it hard to make marriages work.
So who do you turn to?
Perhaps the best place to look is the institution that values marriage more than any other – the church or the respective institution according to your religion.
While a clinical psychologist or licensed family therapist will take an individualistic approach to marriage counseling, a pastor will focus on making the marriage work in a wholistic sense. Over all, this has a better chance of actually saving the marriage.
Why is a pastoral counselor better than a secular therapist?
A secular therapist’s education focuses almost entirely on treating individual psychopathologies. Even “Marriage and Family” designated counselors may have only one class or elective dealing specifically with couple’s therapy. Do you think this approach can save marriage?
A pastoral counselor, on the other hand, will be educated in how to bring couples closer together. With the exception of abuse in the relationship, they have the fundamental belief that once the vows are taken, the marriage is forever.
Some pastoral counselors have formal education in counseling. More and more seminaries are offering pastoral counseling degrees. But even ministers without a formal degree take classes and seminars in the subject.
If you don’t have a church home, you might have some difficulty finding a pastor to help you. And, you don’t have six months to establish membership in a church before approaching the pastor.
In this case, you can call various churches and ask them if they have any upcoming couples retreats where you can save marriage through these weekend seminars. Once you have established a relationship with a skilled pastor in these settings, you may be able to do follow up counselor with the same person.
A good couple’s retreat will help you deal with many different types of issues. There will be group sessions and couple’s sessions. You will also have time to work on questions individually.
Communication is a big issue at these conferences. If you can work on your communications issues, you will find that the other pieces of the relationship fall into place.
Sex, finances, and child raising are also addressed. The goal is to get you back on track in every aspect of your relationship. You don’t have to be on the same page going in, but the hope is that you will be when you leave.
Marriage is tough. Sometimes it seems like the relationship cannot endure. But, there are so many reasons to see if you can’t make it work. In this case, consider seeing if a pastor can save marriage.