Is Your Marriage On The Rock?

May 15, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Are you thinking your marriage is on the rock?  Don’t despair or panic, it is not over yet and with a little work and some good luck you can save your relationship.

Every partnership between a man and a woman will go through a period where it seems they have fallen in hate with each other rather than love. Perhaps you are fighting every day and can’t remember the last time you both spent some quality loving time together.  Perhaps your sex life has died and is now just a distant memory.  Or maybe you have found out your partner has been cheating on you or lying to you about something important?

People often believe that cheating is the end of any relationship but it doesn’t have to be.  A one off affair is not the same as somebody who cheats on a regular basis regardless of the consequences.   That shows a distinct lack of respect for their partner and that is not an easy problem to resolve.

Whatever the reason for your current difficulties, splitting up and heading for the divorce courts is not the easy answer. You owe it to yourself and each other to make an effort to save this relationship and fight for your right to be happy together. You fell in love once and the good news is that you can rekindle these feelings and perhaps even make your marriage stronger.  Will it be easy? No!  Will it be painful?  Yes!  Will it take time?  Yes!  But will it be worth it? Almost definitely.  I say almost as only you know whether you are willing to put in the time, effort and commitment to saving your marriage.

You are going to need some outside help. For some this will take the form of relationship counseling while others would prefer to read a book in the privacy of their own home.  Some people will want to do both.  I would strongly recommend that you both read the Magic of Making Up.  It will help you to put things into perspective.  It will also show you that most couples are capable of resolving their issues and making their commitment to each other stronger and happier.

It really comes down to the question of whether you are prepared to fight for the potential your marriage once had or if you want to walk away. If you think you prefer the second option, remember that the grass can appear greener on the other side. In other words, it may seem that you will be happier with your partner out of the picture but the reality could be very different. Life is hard no matter what age or background you come from.  Sharing the ups and downs that come along every day with someone you love and respect makes living a lot more fun and a lot more worthwhile.

So what are you willing to do to take your marriage on the rock and turn it into a happy love affair?

How To Stop A Divorce In Five Easy Steps

April 29, 2010 | Leave a Comment

With the divorce rate rising on what appears to be a daily basis, it is no surprise that people are wondering how to stop a divorce. The good news is that it can be done, it is relatively easy when you put these five steps into action.

1. Find time for each other:
   Your relationship will not survive unless you find time for each other and do this regularly. This doesn’t mean throwing the odd comment at one another over the dinner table when the kids are fighting but actually making an effort to communicate. Put the kids to bed, switch the TV or computer off and sit down and have a chat.  Talk about your day, your feelings and any issues that are worrying you.  By maintaining open lines of communication you are less likely to have disagreements and misunderstandings over trivial things. Yes you will still fight but that is completely natural and can be a good thing if it leads to a nice making up session.
2. Always show respect for one another:
   No matter how long you have been together you should always show respect for your partner. Give them time for themselves and don’t expect to occupy their every waking moment. There will be times when your partner is going through a difficult time either because of work or personal problems that have nothing to do with your relationship. Be there for them at this time. This doesn’t mean you have to solve the problem as that will not always be possible but if they know they have your support, it will help a lot.
3. Never put one another down:
   You should never put your partner down not even in private. When someone loves another person, they tend to open up to them and share intimate details that they would not share with anyone else. If that partner then uses this knowledge to put them down, the hurt can be enormous.  So be careful and try and think before you open your mouth. If you do insult them, be quick to apologize and reassure them you didn’t mean it.
4. Show appreciation:
   We are all guilty of taking things for granted including our health, our jobs and probably our partners. You need to make a conscious effort to show your partner appreciation for their efforts.  You know your partner and this means understanding how they like to be shown appreciation. For some people telling them verbally works while for others, they need gestures rather than just words.  Taking time to complement your other half will increase your mutual appreciation and the bond between you making divorce less likely.
5. Show forgiveness:
   We all mess up occasionally and rather than holding onto this incident, why not practice forgiveness. You never know when you will mess up and you will want your partner to return the favor.  Nobody is perfect and you will have a much happier life if you don’t keep expecting them to be.

Follow these five tips and you should never need to know how to stop a divorce!

Stop My Divorce

November 16, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Divorces are at an all time high. Sometimes it seems that it’s easier to get a divorce than to get married.

People get hurt in divorce. The parties are forever scarred. Children, if there are any, never get over the hurt. Knowing this, you may be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”

There are three steps to stopping a divorce.

The first thing that you have to realize is that saying you’ve changed does not mean you really have changed. If you are the person who is at fault in the relationship, it’s not enough to give lip service to the idea of change.

If you have been having affairs, for instance, it is going to take time for your partner to believe that you are no longer going back to your wandering ways. It is not enough to tell your partner that you’re not stepping out anymore. You will have to take concrete actions. As an example, you may need to allow your partner to “monitor” your activities by checking in with him or her on a frequent basis. If your job requires you to travel, you may have to look for a new job that keeps you close to home.

Other things besides affairs can mess up a relationship. For instance, if the wife’s spending habits are causing money problems which weaken the marriage, she may have to commit to cutting up the credit cards and living on a cash allowance. If the husband’s work habits keep him away from home too often, he may have to commit to being home by 6:30 every night no matter what. At the crux of this step is what is the most important thing in your life? If it is your marriage, you will make the necessary changes. But don’t just give lip service to them. Actions speak louder than words.

The next step is to avoid using emotional blackmail if you want to stop your divorce. Recognize that love is NOT enough to save your marriage. Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument will not win you any points. When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, your partner is forced to say “I love you, BUT…” this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you.

Use the powerful “I love you” message when your wounds are mended, not at the heat of an argument.

You can’t use logic or guilt to change your partner’s mind. Arguing like this will only involve a spiraling argument. If you feel you must win, then you will lose.

Finally, don’t think that you can win an argument. Some people like to use their superior logic or argumentative skills to “prove” they are right and their partner is wrong. This may work in a formally scored debate, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not facts) it’s sure to fail. Instead of arguing, solve the problem. If your spouse brings up a fault in you, discuss possible solutions rather than argue back.

Are you wondering how to “stop my divorce?” Start by following the “stop my divorce” advice I’ve laid out in this article.

Get more guide to stop divorce here:
http://savemarriagehowto.com/go/savemarriage.html

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