I Want Him To Love Me Again

January 13, 2010 | Leave a Comment

“I want him to love me again” is expressed by many women all over the world, in different languages, environments and situations. Some married women find themselves saying those exact words to close friends or family members when they’re not feeling the intimacy that was once an everyday part of their marriage.

Some women have been on the bad end of a breakup or divorce and desire nothing more than the return of their man and his love. And some women were the instigators of the broken relationship, citing the loss of love as a reason or possibly rethinking their decision and hoping to return to the way things were. Whatever the situation, the sentiment is heartfelt but the solutions not always easy or clear cut.

If you’re trying to win back your guy’s love, one thing you need to understand is what men look for in a relationship and whether or not this was missing in yours. So, what are the things that men need? Above all, men crave admiration. So you need to let him know that he’s wanted and admired.

While it may be obvious for you, it probably won’t be as much so or enough to him, so when in doubt, go overboard with flirtation and affection. Did you get comfortable in the relationship and tend to dress casually most of the time and forget about make-up and sexy clothes? Or even worse, did you dress up for work but stay in sweats and tennis shoes at home?

Did your boyfriend or husband leave you for another woman? Most women mistakenly think their man has found a better looking women. That’s not usually the case. In fact, when and if you end up meeting the “other” women who happens to be pretty normal looking, the typical reaction is to think. . .”what does he see in her”?  It’s most likely not just what he sees in her but what he feels in her. She makes him feel respected, admired and wanted again.

Are you still in your relationship and constantly being accused of being a nag by your partner? This isn’t anything new, right? You’ll often hear men complain about being “nagged to death.”

What they’re really saying is that they want their wife or girlfriend to be satisfied with who he is and what good qualities he has to offer. Realize that the nagging isn’t the real problem – it’s the fact that you are conveying that you’re unsatisfied with who he is and what he has to offer. That’s what really gets to a man and drives him out of a relationship.

Don’t take this to mean that you have to be lovey-dovey all the time and can never express your true feelings, anger or sadness. But when you are proud of your man, make sure he knows it! Don’t just show the negative feelings that come up and take the love and admiration for granted. Keeping this in mind will keep the fire of his love alive.

This information should help you if you’re in the mindset of “I want him to love me again.”

Stop My Divorce

November 16, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Divorces are at an all time high. Sometimes it seems that it’s easier to get a divorce than to get married.

People get hurt in divorce. The parties are forever scarred. Children, if there are any, never get over the hurt. Knowing this, you may be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”

There are three steps to stopping a divorce.

The first thing that you have to realize is that saying you’ve changed does not mean you really have changed. If you are the person who is at fault in the relationship, it’s not enough to give lip service to the idea of change.

If you have been having affairs, for instance, it is going to take time for your partner to believe that you are no longer going back to your wandering ways. It is not enough to tell your partner that you’re not stepping out anymore. You will have to take concrete actions. As an example, you may need to allow your partner to “monitor” your activities by checking in with him or her on a frequent basis. If your job requires you to travel, you may have to look for a new job that keeps you close to home.

Other things besides affairs can mess up a relationship. For instance, if the wife’s spending habits are causing money problems which weaken the marriage, she may have to commit to cutting up the credit cards and living on a cash allowance. If the husband’s work habits keep him away from home too often, he may have to commit to being home by 6:30 every night no matter what. At the crux of this step is what is the most important thing in your life? If it is your marriage, you will make the necessary changes. But don’t just give lip service to them. Actions speak louder than words.

The next step is to avoid using emotional blackmail if you want to stop your divorce. Recognize that love is NOT enough to save your marriage. Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument will not win you any points. When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, your partner is forced to say “I love you, BUT…” this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you.

Use the powerful “I love you” message when your wounds are mended, not at the heat of an argument.

You can’t use logic or guilt to change your partner’s mind. Arguing like this will only involve a spiraling argument. If you feel you must win, then you will lose.

Finally, don’t think that you can win an argument. Some people like to use their superior logic or argumentative skills to “prove” they are right and their partner is wrong. This may work in a formally scored debate, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not facts) it’s sure to fail. Instead of arguing, solve the problem. If your spouse brings up a fault in you, discuss possible solutions rather than argue back.

Are you wondering how to “stop my divorce?” Start by following the “stop my divorce” advice I’ve laid out in this article.

Get more guide to stop divorce here:
http://savemarriagehowto.com/go/savemarriage.html

How To Stop A Divorce

October 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Are you worried that you might not be able to find ways how to stop a divorce? If you’re like most people, you would have tried everything you can think of in an effort to keep your relationship and stop it from falling apart.

Unfortunately, if you’re also like most people, some of those things you’ve been doing to try and figure out how to stop a divorce are actually pushing your partner further away.

Here are some of the things most people do when they think they know how to stop a divorce.

1.    Reassurance

Most people try hard to tell their partner that they’ll change. They reassure them that if they stay in the relationship, things will be different. If you’ve been pleading with your partner to stay and reassuring him that everything will be better, then you could be pushing him further away.

2.    Desperation

The majority of women trying to stop a divorce tell their partner over and over again ‘I love you’. They want him to see how much they care in the hope that it will make him stay. Trying to make your partner understand how much you love him and how much you need him is almost certain to make him want to pull away. After all, if you keep telling him that you can’t live without him and he’s the only one who can make you happy, then he’s seeing that act of desperation as coming from a person who no longer has the confidence of the woman he originally fell in love with.

3.    Talking

Many women spend endless hours talking, arguing, reasoning, analyzing and trying to fix a failing relationship. This tactic never works. In fact, it simply reinforces to a man that the relationship must be in serious trouble if it requires this much arguing and analyzing, so why keep trying? Nobody wants to be married to someone who constantly wants to focus on the negative aspects of everything that’s going on.

While these things are almost normal instinctive behaviors for many women, they don’t actually work when it comes to finding ways how to stop a divorce. What works is taking a step back and looking at your relationship a little differently. It’s time to remove the emotion for just a moment and work on the dynamics of how you and your partner connected in the first place.

Think about when you first met. You would both have been happy and confident and cheerful. It was just fun to be in each others company. You would have been quite happy to accept your partner for who he was and you would have both made an effort to be sure to compromise on some things so you were both happy. Your partner would have fallen madly in love with you because you made him feel happy when you were together.

In order to find a real way how to stop a divorce, you need to figure out how to get back that happy, confident woman your husband fell in love with originally. This is not the same thing as getting a make-over. Your physical appearance isn’t going to change a person’s emotions. You’ll need to stop focusing on the negative aspects of what’s going on and work on your own inner happiness. When you’re happy and confident on the inside, you suddenly become more like the person your partner loves and respects. That’s the woman he enjoys spending time with and that will also be the woman he will stop pulling away from.

When you can raise your confidence levels to that point and avoid all the usual triggers that push men away, you will have learned the easiest way of how to stop a divorce.

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