Did Your Girlfriend Break Up With You

September 16, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Did your girlfriend break up with you?  You are not the first guy to go through this.  In fact, girls initiate three quarters of the break ups while guys only dump the girl in one quarter of the situations.  Therefore, guys have to deal with being dumped far more often than girls do.

Compounding the problem is the impression that men are supposed to deal with their emotions stoically.  While women are allowed to dissect every part of their relationship, men are expected to roll with the punches.

But this doesn’t mean that men don’t have emotions.  They hurt when women dump them.  A girlfriend break up is quite painful.

First of all, men tend to place more value on stable relationships than women do.  While a man might be interested in a fling with a woman who is not his girlfriend, what he really wants is someone who will be there in good times and bad.

But, once your girlfriend has dumped you, it’s important to figure out how to pick up the pieces and go on with your life.

First of all, you should find some way to express yourself.  Girls can do this by writing poetry or talking about the relationship endlessly with their friends.  Men often don’t feel comfortable with these options.  But, if you play the guitar or piano, try writing some music that allows you to express your feelings.  Many of the great songs are about the pain of breaking up.

Next, you need to clear out your place of all of the things that remind you of her.  If she has clothes at your house, give them back.  Throw away her toothbrush.  And, if she’s given you any gifts that you want to keep, box them up for the time being until you can look at them without having turbulent emotions.

You will want to close off communications with her, at least for the short term.  If either of you owe the other money, try to settle up so that won’t be an avenue for talking.

Then tell your ex that you want to go silent for a while.  That means no calls, texts, or emails.  Stay off each other’s myspace and facebook pages.  In time, you may be able to be friends again, but right now you both need to give each other the space to heal.

Then, you need to get out of the house.  Make a point of playing pick up basketball with your friends.  Go out to a bar from time to time.  Become a big brother to an underprivileged kid.

Then, start to get back into the dating scene once again.  At first, you can have casual dates that may not lead to anything.  But, over time, you will meet someone you really care about.  And, at that point, you will know that you have some closure about the old relationship.  You won’t be worried about the old girlfriend break up any more.

Can I Get My Girlfriend Back Ever

September 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment

“Can I get my girlfriend back ever?” If that is what you are wondering it seems like you may be in a desperate situation. There is hope but it may be only a sliver. You have to believe that it won’t result in your or hers heart getting broken again. The truth is one of you screwed up. Who was it? Can the person who made the mistake that caused you to get broken up in the first place be trusted again? The answer to that question may not let you know the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” but it will help you know if you should.

Is it a good idea for both of you to get back together? If you are fully convinced that it is then you might be able to. The problem is in convincing the ex girlfriend that you should. You need to write down all the reasons that it will be a good idea to get back together. It doesn’t need to be a letter or anything. It can be just a list of all the reasons why it would be a good thing to get your girlfriend back. You can even put at the top of it, “Can I get my girlfriend back or should I even try?”

On this list you are going to put down every reason that it would be good to get back together. Try brain storming if you have trouble coming up with good ideas. Write down everything that you can think of whether it’s silly or not. Sometimes the little things make all the difference in the world. After you have your list, go through and write down an objection to each one. Don’t be afraid to do this, it’s called being objective. The answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” may be yes if you are able to find all objections and overcome them.

Look at this all critically and try to convince yourself that it isn’t a good idea. If you can’t do that then it’s a matter of letting your ex girlfriend know the reasons why you should. What you have done with all of this is made yourself able to deal with any objections and concerns that she has of why it wouldn’t be a good thing. You may have very well found out the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” by answering all the questions surrounding that one.

There is one objection that you might not be able to overcome and that is, “I just don’t want to.” If she just does not want to get back together, there might be no other reason for it. You can’t make her want you. You can’t convince her that she should. This is one of the things that you have to be prepared for. What you will be doing, though, is getting to that answer. If she does have a part of her that wants to be with you then the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” is ‘yes’.

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